If the E-MU UltraProteus was the high-tech spaceship of 90s synthesizers, this ROM card was its ultimate greatest-hits mixtape. Before this, you had to sacrifice three precious rack spaces (and a small fortune) to own the Proteus 1 (Pop/Rock), Proteus 2 (Orchestral), and Proteus 3 (World) sound modules. E-MU’s solution? Cram the best presets of all three into a single, aggressively versatile piece of plastic.

The resulting preset list is a geographical and chronological fever dream. Where else can you transition smoothly from a classical symphony into a 1970s prog-rock solo, and finally into a full-blown alien abduction?

Let’s review the sonic whiplash provided by E-MU’s sound design team:

E-MU gave us the iconic 035. OrchestraHit for peak 90s pop energy, but they also blessed the low-end with 036. Fat Boy Tuba. It’s nice to see the brass section getting some unapologetically heavy representation.

The Proteus 3 was famous for its ethnic instruments, and they are proudly represented here. You have traditional staples like 012. Shamisen and 087. Mbira, right alongside the intensely specific atmospheric vibe of 089. ThaiBathHse. (which, depending on the reverb, could either be highly relaxing or a mild health code violation).

The back half of the card devolves into pure narrative chaos. You can score a whimsical fairy tale with 108. Tinker Bell, immediately ruin the vibe by walking into the 120. Wrong Room, and cap the night off by shaking your fist at the sky with 124. Darn Saucers.

Slotted right next to the epic Emerson, Lake & Palmer prog homage of 114. Tarkus Twin is the inexplicably folksy 119. Whistl’n Joe.

This ROM card didn’t just give you instruments; it gave you a wildly unpredictable musical passport, proving that in the 1990s, the line between a grand piano and a UFO sighting was incredibly thin.